he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
