god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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