PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
