I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
