whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
