In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
this boner is exhausting
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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