Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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