I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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