I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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