either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I bet he comes in French.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
