He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
