direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
