come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
