you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
