Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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