she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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