I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
