is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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