My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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