im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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