remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
