I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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