Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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