Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
