At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
