I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
