I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
