White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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