I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
