Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
