Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
