Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
