Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
