I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
