two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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