I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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