I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
