he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
