i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
