I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
