woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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