sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
