i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
