She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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