If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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