she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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