Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
