DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
