just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
cat food counts as protein by the way
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Even my vagina gasped.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
