Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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