Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
bring money and cleavage
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
