i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
There are leaves in my underwear?
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