I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
