Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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